Social Events Schedule Due to the unfortunate dwarf tossing accident, several of the church’s social activities have been rescheduled. Please take note of the following changes. Kindergarten bull riding class will now be held behind the church rectory Monday, Wednesday and Fridays from 4:00 to 5:30 pm. Parents are encouraged to volunteer for rodeo clown duty. Friday evening’s Def Jam comedy has been rescheduled for Saturday evenings starting at 8:00pm. For your safety, metal detectors will still be used at all entrances. Moshing classes will be held in the lower level of the rectory Tuesdays and Thursdays from 6:00 to 7:00 pm. Protective eyewear is strongly encouraged. The weekly dildonics demonstration for lonely singles will now be held in the upper level of the rectory every Monday evening at 10:00pm. Please welcome the new guest host, Hillary Clinton as she conducts this informative demonstration. The pole dancing class has been rescheduled for Tuesday and Thursday evenings in the upper level of the rectory. Classes will begin promptly as 8:00pm.